Babby delivery woes

  • cynicalbrit

    The Jet Stream usually adds 3 weeks onto the stork’s first migration to your particular household. However if you have a couple more he should have worked out the most precise route to your area. It’s also worth mentioning that the stork fleet is woefully undermanned and underpaid, and as such errors do occur in the handling of your baby. You can ask a doctor to see if an error has occurred, and if one has they’ll present you with a figure of what your baby might have looked like before promptly whisking it away. Your wife might think it is her real baby and start yelling for it, but she’s a delusional bitch. Try to avoid giving her a well-deserved smack across the face for the first 12 hours, but after that tell her to get over it and try again.

    • These are wise words my friend. My wife assumed that the figure was indeed our real baby and went on to raise it for 18 years. Sure it may have been the #1 singles tennis player in high school, and effortlessly became the valedictorian of its graduating class–but this was America, the competition was lacking to say the least.

      Anywho, to avoid dealing with any potential drama I ended up tossing the figure into a firey pit before breakfast last Sunday and telling my wife that it went off to study Ethics in France. I know, its pretty ironic.

  • cynicalbrit

    Yes, one would expect a valedictorian to know that France has no such thing as ethics.